The Top 15 Signs Your Librarian is Nuts
This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc.
The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com
15> Entire library stock replaced by 50,000 copies of "Yes, I Can"
by Sammy Davis, Jr.
14> Half-dozen recently-extracted tongues stapled to the "Quiet
Please" sign.
13> Recommends Kato Kaelin's book.
12> Instead of scanning barcode on book at checkout, seductively
licks the inside cover.
11> Library only has two sections: "Limbaugh" and "Liddy."
10> Inserts boudoir photos of herself in copies of Gray's Anatomy.
9> When you ask for an appendix, she winks suggestively and shows
you her scar.
8> Replaces the overdue book fine with canings from the "Rod of
Literary Tardiness".
7> Files Art Buchwald under "Humor"
6> Always doing donuts with the bookmobile in the video store
parking lot.
5> No matter what book you ask for, she hands you a piece of toast
and a Q-tip.
4> Uses the "Dewer's Decimal System", which involves regular belts
of scotch.
3> Instead of a simple "Shhhh", uses a bullhorn to say, "One more
sound and I cap yo' a$$!"
2> Flashes patrons and yells, "Hey! Check *this* out!"
and the Number 1 Sign Your Librarian is Nuts...
1> Leans over to whisper something and bites off half of your
right ear.
This joke was found on 
Chris White's Top 5
go back to the search
go back to the funny page
go back to the title list
go back to the main page
spunge@spunge.org
Added: 7-17-97
http://anduin.eldar.org/~ben/funny/html/367.html